The Dance of Empowerment

In the medicine wheel of the ancient peoples of this beautiful world the east / west axis represents the earth walk and the north / south represents the spirit walk. Where they meet is where we live or I should say we have the potential to live. I believe that when our earth walk is animated with spirit this earth walk becomes something different, something transcendent, it becomes a dance, in truth an ecstatic dance. There is definitely an aspect of surrender present. Surrender to spirit allows our movement to be spontaneous and free, free of judgment, free of anxiety and partnered with creation itself. For me this happened after a booming voice in the night directed me to art. This could have only occurred after complete surrender, but that is for another story. Click here

Suffice it to say that this huge shift set up for my wife and me some very beautiful yet sometimes painful life lessons. One is what I call “the Three Dances”. This pertains to how other people relate to our lives or dance with us. I have found that people are almost never capable of dancing all three of the following dances. In fact I believe I could count on maybe one hand those whom have danced all three with me. Yesterday a friend of mine did just that, which has prompted me to finally write this down after all these years.

“The Three Dances”

The First Dance:  ‘’the dance of defeat’’

This is the easiest; we see it everywhere, at least in the contracted, negative form. We see it in corner bars, in hair salons in any conversations involving us investing our thoughts and words in our victimhood or failure. Country music has made this a cliché. Sure we can all relate to some of this but what is the pay off? … I think you already know. Yeah we all know mud exists on this exquisite world, why seek it out and do our best to become immobilized by it?

The worst example of this can be seen in dance competitions of defeat trying to top each other’s suffering. It’s a free for all. A few beers can really help fuel this along. All this is rarely if ever empowering.

This is not to be confused with the expansive or positive form where we are compassionate and are truly a witness to someone’s pain. Most would call this graceful dance “holding space” for someone. In this space empathy, healing and understanding may occur. Here we resist the invitation to join in by recounting our own pain or suffering, possibly finding ourselves competing.

The trick here is felt in the fruit of it. After this first dance is concluded, can the dancer let it go? Is there a release, a detachment, a letting go of shame, doubt or fear?

I have learned to look to the fruit to see the truth.

The Second Dance: “the dance of victory”

This is easy when it involves your favorite sports team but on an individual level this dance is much harder. For some it is impossible. Imagine being truly happy for someone else’s victory or success. This means no jealousy, no envy, and no pettiness of any kind. In fact not only do you celebrate with them but also you contribute to their victory. You may have ideas on how they can build on this or repeat it. Our empowering words can actually enhance the dance so to speak. This energy exchange bears the fruit of empowerment and inspiration for all involved. Empowerment occurs in everyone’s lives not just the victor at the center of this dance.

My father, who was a Rhodes scholar, lived for years in a fog and eventfully died with advanced Alzheimer’s disease. While on his deathbed I asked a question through a phone line while racing to be by his side. Did he remember being with me in New York in my booth at that international art show, watching me do “my little dance”?  He answered with a face that lit up just a little, “I remember”.

This is the power of the fruit of dancing someone else’s victory.

The Third Dance: “the dance of the dream”

Although it may seem easy it is actually the hardest of all.

This dance requires the most of a dance partner. They are not simply holding space for another. They are moving with them aligned and supportive. They must take on an even more active role.

It is as if they must allow the dancer to take center stage dancing solo with an unseen muse. Their job is to focus the spotlight on them, tracking their every move, allowing this dance to be witnessed by others or simply by creation itself. They share, if only in their heart, the inspiration, the empowerment and the energy that can be felt by others.

We have all shared a dream or two and we know how vulnerable this state can be. It is as though conception is held at bay for a witness to confirm it. I have found that the easiest way for others to appear as an authority is to take a negative stance, shooting down another’s aspirations. Perhaps it is like a dog lifting its leg on you to mark their territory. The truth is you probably knew on some level this was their default setting yet your need for a witness was that great. Actually bringing something positive to the table requires more of an investment than some can afford even though it’s usually just kindness or a generosity of spirit.

            The secret here is to see yourself as the conduit this dream travels through not the source, this way you are the witness that is necessary to bring this alchemy about.

Helping another person to bring forth a dream can be one of the most empowering events in your life. The energy exchange, the nurturing of an insight or inspiration is like money in the bank. Not the bank you may think but the only bank that really matters in this realm. Call it the good karma bank or the grace bank but it pays out in the only dividends that really matter.

Who knows, on your deathbed perhaps your face may light up just a little and you may say, “I remember”.

Yes… I AM A SOUL THAT HAS DANCED WITH SPIRIT. DANCED WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY UPON THIS BEAUTIFUL EARTH.

I remember!